Here are some very practical things you can do to find your person and, together, build a successful relationship.
♦ Cherish yourself.
When you love yourself so fully that you’re precious to you, you’ll only be interested in potential partners who also see you as precious.
♦ Go ahead and be happy with your life as it is.
Happiness doesn’t scare off good potential mates, it attracts them.
♦ Say “yes!” to opportunities to meet new people.
You don’t know where your partner will come from until you meet each other. Get out there in the world of people you don’t know, interact with them, and let folks get to know you. Don’t focus just on people you think are potential partners. Your route to your partner may be through his/her sister, best friend, dad, colleague…
♦ Say “yes!” to opportunities to get to know people better.
Your partner may be right in front of your eyes. The only thing standing between the two of you may be that you don’t yet know each other well enough to recognize each other.
♦ Invite that interesting person to do something casual with you.
Don’t make this a date. First dates can set up expectations, fantasies, fears, etc.
Start easy and safe…. maybe a cup of coffee and a chat at the local café.
And remember… this is an invitation, not a command performance and not a popularity test. If your chosen person declines, then gracefully let go of your interest and turn your attention elsewhere. You certainly don’t want a reluctant partner so don’t start out by trying to convince someone to do something they’re not excited about doing.
♦ During the first or second date, ask some of the important questions.
If you’re actually interested in finding a mate instead of dating forever, it’s important to quickly figure out if your date is on the same page. Of course neither of you will know at this point whether or not you’ll want to settle down together, but you each do know if you’re looking for a potential partner or if you prefer to date rather than commit. If your date doesn’t want a partner, now is the time to gracefully move on and keep looking for someone who does want a partner. Again, you certainly don’t want a reluctant partner.
♦ Leave sex out of it for awhile.
Get to know each other as people first. If you both truly enjoy who each other is and how each other lives, become best friends and let your great love grow from that foundation.
♦ When you do go there, make the sex great.
Great sex doesn’t come along by accident and it’s not all about the right size parts fitting together in the right way. Great sex is the result of being intimately attentive to each other’s body and emotions and being genuinely interested in giving each other pleasure. In addition to your sex play, talk about what you like, what you don’t like, and where you’re willing to experiment. Reveal yourselves to each other.
♦ Ask, observe, and discuss.
Before you make any significant commitments that are inconvenient to undo… like moving in together, getting financially involved with each other, getting pregnant… learn how to play well together when it comes to problem solving, handling challenges, and making life flow in ways that work for both of you. You both deserve a harmonious home and these skills are a fundamental part of that.
♦ And when you do find each other, cherish your precious partner.