~~~ SOME GIFTS OF ADD/ADHD ~~~
- Heightened sensual awareness
- Good sense of humor
- Playful ness
- Connect well with children
- Broad range of interests
- Intense focus when interested
- Innovative solutions to challenges
- Good with details when interested
- Good with abstract possibilities
- Lots of energy
~~~ SOME THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT ADD/ADHD ~~~
- ADD/ADHD is not all of who you are – there’s a lot more to you than this
- ADD/ADHD does not own you – you own your own mind and can always make choices about your behavior
- There’s nothing wrong with your mind – you simply have not yet learned to use the gift of ADD to your benefit
- ADD/ADHD run amuck is not “the invasion of the mind snatchers” – it’s you trying to avoid focusing on something you find to be painful, boring, confusing, too challenging, embarrassing, frustrating, etc.
- ADD/ADHD creates a very spontaneous and expansive way of thinking – it’s important to give yourself time every day to just cut loose mentally and let your mind expand in whatever way it wants to right then. Making time for this each day will feed the part of you that needs this freedom and will diminish your need to do this when maintaining a designated focus is important.
- ADD/ADHD encourages overkill in activities that are of interest to you.
~~~ WHAT TO DO TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ~~~
- Stop talking when your point has been made.
- Stop playing when it’s time to do something else.
- When someone is talking to you, listen without thinking about other things.
- Do what you’re doing until it’s complete and then stop.
- Recognize when someone else is not enjoying what you’re doing and stop trying to engage her/him in doing it with you.
- Don’t agree to do everything that’s brought to your
- Agree to do only what you’re willing and able to follow through on.
- Do what you’ve said you’ll do.
~~~ SOME THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT LIFE ~~~
- You’ve probably had your share of criticism from other people. You’ve probably built up defenses for your self-esteem as a result of those criticisms. Those defenses will continue doing to you what they do to everyone else – be self-defeating behaviors that keep you struggling with yourself and others. Disarm the defenses by being honest with yourself and your loved ones about how you make yourself feel better or safer by using excuses, ego-trips, confusion, avoidance, anger, and whatever else. And then, lay down the defenses and be who you really want to be in each moment of your life.
- Most people need to experience what they’re learning before they can really retain the information. When you’re learning new things, make sure you actually do whatever it is rather than just reading or listening to someone else tell you how to do it.
- Everyone is confused about how to live life fully and still be a responsible adult. Don’t let the confusion stop you from choosing both fun AND fulfillment of your responsibilities.
- The buck stops with you – no one else is responsible for making sure you do what you’ve agreed to do, keeping you on a schedule, making decisions for you, attending to your basic life needs (food, clothing, etc), or setting appropriate limits on your behavior.
- Thinking about making changes won’t change your experience of life or other people’s experiences of you. Making changes in your behavior will.
~~~ WHAT ADD/ADHD CAN BE WHEN IT’S WORKING FOR YOU ~~~
- About Desired Directions – you really know what you want out of life and you’ll settle for nothing less.
- All Dreams Delivered – you see beyond all limitations and go for what’s really possible.
- Affirming Daily Delight – you’re intent on making sure everyone has a great time with life – you included
- Almost Done Discovering – you know there’s always something new to learn and you keep going until you’ve learned it all.
- Acquiring Deep Discernment – you’re on the lookout for what’s beyond the obvious and below the conscious and you use that information to live wisely and lovingly.
- All Done Deciding – you’ve done enough and it’s time to quit for the day.
- About Diligent Doing – you’re focused on getting it done thoroughly and completely.
- Always Daring Doer – whatever it is, you’ll take it on if it interests you and you’ll find a way to get it done well.
- Abstract Doubts Dismissed – there’s no such thing as an insurmountable obstacle because you know everything is possible when creative thinking is focused on the goal.
- About Doing Different – things have gotten boring for everyone involved and you have some fresh ideas that will keep the interest alive until whatever your doing is done. – Or – it’s not working the way you’re trying to do it and you’re open to new ideas that may work better.
- Absolutely Delicious Daredevil – you get to define this one to fit your own sense of mischief and merrymaking…
~~~ WHAT ADD/ADHD CAN BE WHEN IT’S NOT WORKING FOR YOU ~~~
~ And what to do with yourself when you use ADD any of these ways ~
- All Done Deciding – commit to when you will decide, go do something else, and then return to the decision at the time you agreed to.
- Always Delightfully Dreaming – take a break, dream for 5 minutes, and then return to what needs to be done.
- All Destinations Desired – well, you can only physically be in one place at a time and if you don’t decide what other place to be in, you’ll continue to be wherever you are. Remind yourself that you’ll live until you die and there’s plenty of time to get around to anything that really matters to you.
- Abstract Design Deluge – get the backlog of ideas out of your head – put them down on paper, tell someone about them, or just speak them out loud to the wall.
- After Dark Doer – get to know your natural rhythms and do things that need mental focus during the time of day that works best for you.
- About Doing Different – do things in new and innovative ways only when that makes a better end result. Don’t waste your creative energy re-inventing the wheel when doing something the same old way makes a good end result.
- After Dis, Dat – make time to play by getting done what needs to be done rather than playing to avoid doing what needs to be done –
- or – it’s more serious cousin…. I’ll get around to that after I do this…limit your to-do list to 3 things, do each of them in the order listed and then make the next list of 3 things, do them, and …. You get the drift..
- Appropriate Decisions Dismissed – oops! Caught ya! Laugh at yourself about this one and remember that everyone wants to avoid doing what’s needed sometimes. Instead of pretending you don’t know what’s appropriate, admit you don’t want to do what’s appropriate and then do it anyway. This is a lot easier if you reward yourself well AFTER doing something you needed to do but didn’t really want to do. Of course the danger here is that you’ll decide to reward yourself before doing what needs to be done and that will lead you into After Dis, Dat.
- Always Debating Decisions – no matter how long you live; you won’t have time to explore every possible option that every single moment presents you. No matter how much you know; there will always be more that you don’t know. And then there’s that stuff that you don’t know you don’t know – those secret rules that tell other people how to do it right, yeh, that stuff…. You could drive yourself crazy or immobilize yourself forever trying to figure all of that out. Sometimes it’s best to just make a decision based on what you already know and not look back.
- All Details Deleted – you’re on overload. Take a break for 5 minutes, clear your mind, and then try again.
- All Details Detained – you’re collecting data rather than accomplishing anything. Or maybe you’re collecting stuff instead of giving yourself things you’ll use. Leave the data collecting to computers and the stuff collecting to museums. Give yourself permission to only keep track of what matters in your life – the things and information that make life more satisfying and workable for you and those you love. And of course, how do you decide what matters? See All Done Deciding and Always Debating Decisions…