Love gets a bit fragile sometimes, even in the most durable relationships.
For some couples fragile love creates an uncomfortable but fruitful time of growth, for others it creates the end of the relationship. For all partners it’s an unsettling aspect of love relationships that can bring our insecurities to the surface and shift us into uncertainty about our partner, our own self, or the long-term value of the relationship. Fragile love is always an invitation to grow and it’s up to the two of you to decide what that means for your relationship.
Under some circumstances it’s pretty predictable that your love will become fragile, at least for a while. This doesn’t always mean the relationship is fragile, but it usually does mean the relationship is uncomfortable. It’s good to know what these circumstances are in your relationship. Talking about it together and identifying the fragile places for each of you may make the difference between a love that endures and one that crumbles under pressure.
Love tends to become fragile when:
♥ You’re in the space between new love and being settled into life together.
♥ Either of you is in a period of ongoing stress.
♥ Either of you engages based on your own emotional wounds.
♥ Either of you participates in an addiction.
♥ Either of you breaks an agreement that’s a foundation of your relationship.
5 signs that your love is fragile:
♥ One or both of you wants to improve the other. This means you’re viewing your beloved, or your love relationship, as a project. That may be good parenting but it’s not an adult love relationship.
♥ One of you is usually right and the other is usually wrong. One or both of you has poor self-esteem and is masking that with an unbalanced ego. This dynamic builds up resentments that will eventually undermine your love for each other.
♥ Time together is not a high priority for one or both of you. Some relationships thrive with minimal time together, others come to an end. Honest conversation between the two of you will help each of you understand whether or not this is healthy for your relationship.
♥ One or both of you repeatedly make excuses for the other’s behavior. There’s a mismatch of values going on. We all have places where we’re a little low on integrity or skill and part of loving is gently making space for this. Feeling a need to repeatedly excuse your beloved’s behavior is a sign there’s no space in the relationship for either of you to be who you really choose to be.
♥ The work of supporting the relationship falls on the shoulders of one of you. This occurs from time to time in long-term relationships as a normal cycle of life. When this is always how the relationship works it usually means one of you values the relationship more than the other does. Relationships with a partner who’s very ill or who’s mentally disabled are the exceptions to this. Under all other circumstances, we can find ways to support the relationships that matter to us.
See my other articles about love relationships:
Laughing Womyn Ashonosheni is a Wisdom Teacher, Shaman & Healer who helps people live in ways they find to be delightful. You can see more about her work at LaughingWomyn.com.